What is Ponyrific - Totally Pony - Totally Not Pony

PONYRIFIC!	WHY?	NOT PONYRIFIC!	WHY NOT?
Valentino Rossi	Tells great jokes, friendly to strangers and fans, charming, Aquarian and ... how can I forget? ... seven-time World Champion! Could he be any more ponyrific? I think so ... if he switched to the Ducati team! This photo makes him look ponylicious, too! Valentino = super pony!!!	Fernando Alonso	Who does he think he is? Michael Schumacher? After Valentino tested F1, Nando said he could go just as well on a GP bike. After that daring claim, Valentino challenged him to a competition ... GP bike, F1 and rally car. Duh! The ponies' money is on Rossi ... oh, and Alonso, you may want to try an eyebrow wax! You're soooo totally NOT pony!!
Appropriate Accessorizing	This is my totally ponyrific friend Lick. Lick really knows how to accessorize as seen here. His subtlety and good sense really puts him on the top of ponyrific charts.	Over-accessorizing	This is 50-Cent. Fiddy (I think that's how to spell his name) is setting a good example of how not to be pony. I have nothing against Fiddy ... in fact I like him 'cause he's freaky, but he really needs to tone down his look. It might work in his world but it just won't fly in pony land.
Partridge Family Bus	Pack up your family and a dozen of your musician friends and you have a totally pony party on wheels! Jam away while touring the USA and pick up hitchikers along the highway! You're sure to have a ponyrific time!	Hummer Limosine	Okay ... how much do I not want to ride in one of these to Los Angeles and cruise the Sunset Strip while my posse who I think are my friends sing along to Puff Daddy and Jessica Simpson while sipping Red Bull Vodkas! Totally un-pony! I'm going to vomit.
Rickenbacker	Rock out, people! How cool do you look on stage rockin' one of these babies? A little bit retro and a little bit rock-'n'-roll mixed into one totally Geddy bass guitar! Accept no substitutes ... and grab hold of all that action you've been waiting for since you hit puberty!	Fender Squier	Okay ... not only are you not going to get any action after the "big show" but your mom just called you on your 28th birthday and wants you to move out of the house! She's tired of doing your laundry, DORK!
Ferrari	Italian masterpiece ... along with Leonardo Da Vinci, MV Agusta and Ducati, this car is the poniest of them all! When Valentino Rossi goes Formula 1 racing, what do you think he'll drive? A Williams BMW? Not!	Porsche	Ho hum ... are you ready for your mid-life crisis and your 27-year-old pneumatic blonde girlfriend? Can you say, "overpriced Volkswagen?" We ponies are sooo not impressed!
Jimmy Page & his Danelectro	Oh ... you'll have to excuse me for a moment while I collect myself. Not only is Jimmy Page the poniest rocker ever, he plays the poniest guitar! I know you're probably saying, "Get with the times, Pony Pony," but I don't care! You can't get any ponier than this!!!	Yellowcard	None of the ponies can tell you what kind of guitar this punk kid plays because none of them care! He smells bad, his music is garbage and he dresses like his mom buys his clothes at K-Mart! Totally unpony!!!
The Donnas	Hey ponies, is there a girl band that's ponier than these ponies? NO WAY! Who do you think the Moto Ponies listen to when they're pumpin' up for their races? If you don't like them you're soooo uncool!	Lita Ford	Cat tells me Lita Ford was ponyrific in the '80s. What does he know? He's a cat! We ponies think she's scary ... even if she was in The Runaways with Joan Jett! What is she doing with her guitar here anyway? Barf us out!!!
Roller Derby	When I was a little pony, about ten years old, I use to roller skate and pretend like I could really kick ass ... and now that I'm all grown up, I can! See you after school beeeaaaach!	Hooters Waitresses	Blonde, shallow, mildly retarded? They are know as the Hooters girls. Who do you think would win in a street fight....or better yet, a spelling bee between these girls and the derby girls? The answer is obvious! SOOO UNPONY!
Replica Helmets	How cool are you in your AGV Rossi Replica? Who cares if you don't ride like The Doctor ... at least you can look like you can. Totally pony!	Helmet Ears	Hey girls ... do us all a favor and leave these ears off the helmets. I know you think it's cool to ride to The Rock Store or The Dragon and show off because you're on your own sportbike ... but wearing these just screams out the fact that the sportbike that you're on is just another accessory you use to get attention.
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